It's not about what God has done to me, but what he has done for Adam...

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Happy 8 mths in Heaven, baby boy!

I can't believe that it has already been 8 months!!  It really feels like this all happened just last week.  Some days I am ok.  I know Adam is in a better place and it is selfish to wish he was here suffering.  Other days I just don't understand.  I feel like a brat, kicking and screaming inside because I did not get my way.  I am starting to wonder if a week will ever go by that I don't cry.  I am sick of crying!  I try to hide it as best as I can, mostly from Allison.  She is so smart, when she sees me crying, she asks if I am ok and hugs and kisses me and then asks if I miss Adam. 

Whenever I hear that another baby has passed, it always brings back the same emotions and my heart literally aches for the family.  Until this happened to me, I had no idea that there was a whole baby loss community out there.  I have met so many wonderful women who have lost their babies.  We understand eachother and they are such a good support system for me!

     No matter if it has been 8 months, 8 years or 80 years, as long as you are in Heaven and I am on Earth, I will miss you with all of my heart!!  I will always have a place in my heart for you and not a day will go by that I don't think of you.  I love you baby boy!