If only I could take a little peak into Heaven, and see Adam, my heart might not ache so much. I wish I knew more about Heaven so that I would have an idea about what Adam looks like, what he's doing, and what knows about me. Is he still a newborn? A 10 month old baby boy? Or is he an adult? If I could just have an image of him, my mind would be more at ease. What is he really doing in Heaven? Is he playing with my other babies? Is he praising God by singing a beautiful song to him? Does he get to see what I'm doing and watch his big sister grow up? I just have so many questions that I wish I had answers to.
Yesterday, before work, I looked up to the night sky and said to God, "Please, please let me see a shooting star! It's been SO long!" Before I finished the work "long", there it was! A star shooting across the sky. How can that not have been an answered prayer? I am always looking at the stars and praying for a shooting star, but hadn't seen one since December on the cruise. I actually had pretty much given up because I figured that God wanted me to have Faith in Him, and if he always showed me a star when I asked for one, then that wouldn't really be faith. Today marks 10 months since Adam went to Heaven. I think if I hadn't seen that star yesterday, I would be a complete mess today. But I do have a little sense of peace knowing that he is ok.