It's not about what God has done to me, but what he has done for Adam...

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Getting Impatient

It has been almost 5 months since Adam went to Heaven. On the day he left us, the neonatologist urged us to get an autopsy done so we could try to find out why Adam had all of his issues. My initial reaction was "No!". I did not want them cutting into my baby. Then he started explaining that it would help us know if there was a genetic problem and it would be helpful for Allison when she got older. So I went ahead and signed the consent. He said it would take 1-2 months to get results. We STILL don't have results. At first, Steve was calling weekly, then twice weekly. Now the girls that answer the phone know him and say that they are checking for him daily. Technically, they only had 90 days to get us the results. He did actually speak to the pathologist a few weeks ago and he said it would be a week and a half. That week and a half has come and gone...

I am getting so impatient! I need these results to get more closure. I feel like there is still something hanging over my head. I can't understand what could possibly be taking so long. I will say that if they lost any of the samples or results, they will not know what hit them because I will be driving up to St.Pete and taking all of my anger and frustration out on somebody!!!

I have now just passed the anniversary of finding out that I was pregnant with Adam. I know the coming months are going to be extra hard because I am going to be remembering that this time last year I was pregnant and playing back in my head all the milestones and heartaches...

4 comments:

MSChaz said...

Your impatience is completely understandable. So sorry you are still waiting on this information, and I hope it helps bring you one step closer to "closure." (((hugs)))

Lisette said...

Oh my goodness I am so sorry that you still don't have answers. How frustrating for you! I hope you get your results soon so that you can have some closure. Hang in there.

Susan Ashton said...

Hi April, I am so so sorry that we have this loss in common! I linked here from our conversation on babycenter "discussion on faith". I have to tell you that my Julia died of a heart defect Nov. 7 '09 and we did have an autopsy performed and the results were given to us before Christmas! Her neonatologist brought us to his home to read them to us so we would not have to go back to the hospital. The final results were not done until mid Feb. but there was nothing new they found that was not in the preliminary. The final results were gone over with my high risk ob that I met with to discuss what a future preg. would look like for us. If you have not done this I highly recomend it, really helped to put my mind at ease. I think it is INSANE that you still don't know! Have you tried to talk to Adam's neonatologist? Ours was wonderful and the reason we got our results so fast! I know how it feels to have all these loose ends! I will be praying it is resolved soon!
Love,
Susan

Lisette said...

Hi, just checking in on you, hope all is well. ((HUGS))